The Complete Lawyer

If you’re a Baby Boomer, your parents may have had short or long lives, but the average life expectancy at birth for those born between 1910 and 1925 was roughly 55 years. Those who lived to retire at age 65 then had an average life expectancy of 12 more years. Their children—that’s us—had a life expectancy at birth of 72, and those of us who live to age 65 will have an average life expectancy of 20-25 more years. In other words, we’re likely to live almost twice as long in retirement as our parents!

If you’ve got another 20-30 years of tread left on your metaphoric tires, what’s it going to be like? How will you get along with your spouse when you are both home “24/7?” You pledged “for better or for worse,” but nobody mentioned being home for lunch together every day for the next 30 years.

In our later years, most of us will nurture old and new hobbies, perhaps volunteer or mentor, and pursue other meaningful outside interests. To thrive through midlife and beyond, it’s advantageous to understand the “Domains of Living.”

We Live In Seven Intermingling Domains

There are four operational domains that affect our experiences in the world: Wealth, Health, Home, and Life Structure. There are also three inspirational domains that determine the quality of life and well being: Relationships, Cognition, and Spirituality. Taken together, these domains describe the weave, colors, and patterns that compose the fabric of our lives. They have always affected us, but we tend to take more notice of them “in retirement,” if only because we have both the time and the wisdom to appreciate their beauty, complexity, and importance.

These domains don’t line up in any particular order, nor do they occur one at a time; rather they intermingle somewhat chaotically, triggered by the major transformative events of midlife.

Understand The Four Exterior Domains

1. Wealth is important to a good retirement as we rely on our hard-earned savings for income. Those in middle age and beyond need to manage this domain well so that you have enough for all your needs. Is your Will up to date? Do you have the appropriate Inter Vivos and Irrevocable Trusts? Have you updated your Medical Directive and Durable Power of Attorney? Have you designated a health care “agent?” Have you considered what kind of medical treatment you want near the end of life? Has it been well articulated to your family and loved ones? Can your designee locate the various documents that will be needed to facilitate your wishes before and after death? Have you considered how comfortable you want to be near the end of life, or expressed how you want to be treated? And finally, perhaps most important, have you taken the time to tell those closest to you—your children, grandchildren, spouse, friends—all you want to say to them, the things you’d want them to remember about you? These are our truest legacies.

If the answer to any of these questions is “No,” “It’s on my list,” or “I haven’t thought about it,” you may want to order a copy of “Five Wishes,” a pamphlet published by Aging With Dignity. The pamphlet includes a clear explanation of the issues addressed by the above questions and also provides forms that, when completed and signed, meet the legal requirements of most states.

2. The domain of health incorporates nutrition, exercise, laughter and playfulness. Most readers would affirm the value and importance of good nutrition and daily exercise in our effort to thrive; the nuance, however, is to make it a primary focus. Mother Nature seems to work against our best interests: our bodies don’t metabolize food as well at 60 as at 20, so we have to work harder just to keep the status quo. It’s more of a struggle to go to the gym because there are so many things we’d rather do or need to do!

One of the key ingredients of health is maintaining a sense of humor and finding as many opportunities as possible to laugh and express joy. According to Elizabeth Scott in her “About-dotcom” Guide to Stress Management, “Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones likes cortisol, epinephrine, and adrenaline. It also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins and neurotransmitters. Laughter increases the number of anti-body-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T cells. All this means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress.”

Among many web resources, My Comics Page and PM Caregivers provide a daily dose of humor for those of us wanting to age with a smile on our face!