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6. Pray or meditate. Quieting the mind through a practice of prayer or meditation helps to slow and stop the vicious cycle of stress, which in turn helps the immune system. “Anything that boosts or offsets the taxation on the immune system is worth practicing, especially in prolonged stress. Sending appreciation, care or compassion also helps to balance the nervous system and heart rhythm. This, in turn, helps to balance your mental and emotional system, which can help with anxiety and types of depression.” Focus on a joyful event or loving relationship to stop this worry cycle.
7. Use heart-focused breathing. This isn’t quite as “California” as it sounds: many traditional medical professionals acknowledge the benefits and importance of focused breathing in reducing stress and pain; LaMaze childbirth is a prime example. More than just breathing into a paper bag, focusing on breath helps us to unfocus on the things that are stressing us in the first place. ” . . . breathing in the attitude of calm and balance (like breathing in an emotional tonic to take the rough edges off) can be helpful if you casually focus and are sincere with the process.”
8. Sleep. Most of us experience less sleep and less restful sleep when we’re stressed and the mind “runs wild.” The more sleep deprived we become, the harder it is to sleep restfully, setting in motion another vicious cycle that augments our stress. Sleep medication may help the occasional bout of insomnia but only exacerbates the chronic problem. Warm milk, homeopathic formulas such as Calmesforte, and/or establishing a regular time and conducive “space” for sleeping can help reestablish a beneficial sleep cycle.
9. Exercise. How many of these excuses have you heard—“I don’t have enough time to exercise; I’m not in good enough shape to exercise; I’m considering hiring someone to do the exercise for me.” Aerobic exercise has been shown to significantly benefit our brains well into old age: it increases metabolism; lowers heart risks; and through weight loss can reduce or eliminate the effects of diabetes, acid reflux, sleep apnea, and problems associated with an enlarged prostate. “. . . exercise won’t take away your reasons for getting stressed, but it strengthens your capacity to manage your stress with less energy loss.”
10. Don’t compare now with the way it was. While it’s useful to measure our progress moving through the seven stages of grief, there comes a time, after the first phase of anger, grief or despair, to let go of what was and allow what is to fully exist. “With self-compassion and patience, make a genuine heart commitment to practice recognizing some of your thoughts and feelings of comparison with the past. As you become aware of these thought loops and feel your energy down-spiraling, realize that it’s normal to have these thoughts and feelings. Yet, know that constant preoccupation with them can drain and repress your spirit, which you need at this time to re-stabilize and move forward. Then, in an easygoing way without force, choose something to focus on that doesn’t cause as much pain and energy drain.”
11. Reduce fear. Seventy-six years ago, in his first inaugural address, Franklin Roosevelt told us we have nothing to fear but fear itself. Ironically, the debilitating economic crisis he was addressing has uncomfortable parallels today. Fear is rarely about what’s happening now; our fight/flight instincts will take over when the danger is up front and personal. Mostly we fear things that haven’t yet happened. Yet our body chemistry reacts to immediate danger and fear of the future in the same way as present danger—by releasing an ultimately debilitating overdose of adrenalin. “. . . practice reducing the state of fear to an attitude of balanced caution. There’s a difference in how these two states affect you mentally and emotionally. Constant fear represses your spirit and numbs your heart connection with yourself, your family and others. This blocks hope, while exhausting the initiative of those around you. When living from the state of fear, it owns you and can eventually erode your discernment and cognitive function which you need through challenging times. Living from the attitude of balanced caution is different: The attitude of caution is protective yet it allows you to maintain balance, make clear choices, and is much better on your mental, emotional and physical health.”
12. Engage with your family. Many men attempt to “protect” their spouses and families from bad news, such as job and/or economic loss, by keeping it to themselves. Wrong!—for several reasons. Family members almost always know that something is amiss; absent the truth, they will probably imagine scenarios more disturbing than the reality. Also, whereas you can act on reality, you are powerless to solve “unknown” sources of stress. “Have open communication within your family about the stress that each of you is going through. It’s important not to bottle up your feelings and repress the stress, as this only multiplies it.”
13. Don’t blame yourself. This is easy to say and hard to do—but it’s important to try. Sure, with 20/20 hindsight, we would have “gotten out of the market” 18 months ago. But if Alan Greenspan didn’t see it coming, why should you blame yourself? “Moving forward is easier without carrying baggage and guilt from what you could have or should have done.”
14. Write a letter from your heart to yourself. For most of us left- brain, linear thinkers, this step will seem silly and frivolous—until you read the full De-Stress Kit and have a context (and samples) for such an exercise. So, yes, there’s homework associated with this article: write a letter to yourself as if you were your best friend and favorite person.
The Age of Information brings many benefits, but it also exposes us to a 24/7 deluge of data for which our physical and emotional selves are not prepared. Our bodies react to stress in largely uncontrollable ways, which is why we need to proactively manage it before it takes hold.
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