Q: I feel as if I need a mentor if I am going to move forward with my career. How do I find one?
A: First let’s talk about what a mentor is and then we can delve into how to find one. A mentor is a trusted counselor, someone who advises and guides you based on her own knowledge and experience. Typically, mentors are older than you are or have more experience. Because the mentor has already gone down a certain path, she can help you navigate it, as well as advise you about its benefits and pitfalls.
Many people believe that they need a mentor—one person who takes you under her wing and serves as a role model for life. This notion is more myth than reality. Most of us need multiple mentors—different people to guide us at different times of our lives, or to help us learn about specific aspects of life.
For example, you may want to find a practice development mentor, someone who has built a practice similar to the one you’d like to build and has done so in a way that resonates with your personality. You might have another mentor for community involvement, and a third to help you juggle the demands of family and career in a way you admire.
How do you go about finding mentors? We recommend looking around you for people you respect and admire. What is it about them that makes them stand out? What aspect of who they are and what they do kindles your admiration?
Next, consider what you want from this mentor. Do you want to meet with her every week? Do you want email and phone access? Being clear about your expectations will help you find the right people.
If you choose someone you already know, the next step is to approach her and simply ask if she’d be willing to mentor you with respect to the chosen area. Chances are she’ll be flattered: she’ll probably ask you some questions and ultimately agree. However, she might also say no; perhaps she’s feeling stretched too thin, or not qualified to mentor you in the way you need. If that happens, don’t worry; you can approach other people, even those you don’t know.
To approach people with whom you don’t have a direct connection, first determine if you know someone who knows her and ask for an introduction. Another option is to simply “cold call” a potential mentor. Remind yourself that your request is flattering, and that many people appreciate being asked to serve as a mentor. In either case, be sure to tell the potential mentor about yourself, what you admire about her, what you are trying to accomplish through the mentoring relationship, and how you conceive of the mentor’s role.
Look within and outside of your firm, and perhaps even outside the practice of law. You’ll have an easier search if you’re open to having multiple mentors; you’ll also develop a rich network of relationships that nurtures you in your career and all aspects of your life.
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