The Complete Lawyer

There’s no doubt that many lawyers are scared  right now. The foundation of the legal profession is shifting. Firms are closing and downsizing and competition for cost-conscious clients is fiercer than ever. In the midst of this professional insecurity, we’re seeing our personal savings deplete and property values decline due to market forces beyond our control. Under this undeniable pressure, people have become paralyzed with overwhelming fear. This is a very debilitating mode of existence. We need to be creative and flexible to sustain ourselves in a tough economy.

We Need To Acknowledge Fear

Fear is a primal response that we’re all very familiar with. It’s often described as an emotion or feeling. We say, “I feel scared” or “I’m frightened.” But according to experts, fear is also a physiological response deeply rooted in the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers a surge of adrenaline and other stress hormones that compel us to fight, flee or freeze when we perceive a life threatening, imminent danger.

Undoubtedly, this is a very important and proven survival instinct.

Unfortunately, we often have a hard time distinguishing between fear rooted in real and present dangers and fear about future events and possible outcomes. Even in the absence of an immediate threat, our automatic response system kicks in and we freeze, flee or fight when we really need to be calm, reflective and deliberative.

According to an ancient Eastern saying, “Fear fears the light of consciousness.” In other words, we can dispel or reduce our fear by making a conscious effort to see it for what it really is. Our challenge is to become more aware of our fear. We need to unmask it and discern if the things we’re afraid of are real or imagined.

Learn To Decode Your Fear

As our economy falters, many lawyers are facing some of their biggest fears: loss of livelihood, stature, identity and the ability to provide for their families and themselves. While this can be very daunting, it also offers a great opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow professionally and personally.

In her inspiring book, When Things Fall Apart, American-born Buddhist nun Pema Chodron shares this parable:

“The young student warrior was told that she had to do battle with fear. When the day came, the young warrior faced her opponent and asked, ‘How can I defeat you?’ Fear responded, ‘My weapons are that I talk very fast and get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.’ In this way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.”

As Chodron illustrates, a healthy and constructive way to deal with fear is to understand what it is and how it affects us.

To decode your fear, sit in a quiet space and think about what’s going on in your life right now, in this very moment, that’s making you scared. I recommend taking 10 or so deep breaths to calm yourself. Remember, as you reflect on your fear, you can trigger the physiological amygdala-hormone response. This impacts your body, which in turn impacts your mind. You can and need to counter this response through breath and focus. Otherwise, you’ll get swept into the fight, flee and freeze reaction. Keep returning to your breath if you find yourself getting nervous, anxious or distracted.

Remember, this is a fluid process. If you find that you’re still unsettled and having problems regaining your focus, you can also try mind-body disciplines like meditation and yoga or grounding forms of physical exercise. (Visit [http://www.legalsanity.com/about-arnie/articles-ebooks/] for articles I’ve written about meditation.)

Next, take a piece of paper and create two columns. In the left column, respond to the following questions:

• Do you lack the basics for survival—food, clothing, shelter?
• Have you lost your job, house or health insurance?
• Are you unable to make your credit card, car or student loan payments?

Be very concrete, specific and thorough (“I’m afraid because I just got laid off”). But, most of all, be vigilant about staying in the here and now. Breathe.

Once you’ve answered these questions regarding your fears about your present reality, identify practical steps you can take to manage that reality. For example, one of the lawyers I coach recently shared that three of his biggest clients had told him that they couldn’t pay his legal fees for services already rendered. I helped him identify his fear of not having the income needed to pay his business and personal expenses. I then had him reflect on what he could do about the situation. He came up with the action points of setting up a credit card payment system, letting his clients know that he needed to get paid and establishing payment plans if they couldn’t pay in full. He followed through on all three points and the payments started flowing in.

For each of your fears, identify what action you might take and write it down in the right column of your page. This is a great time to ask for input from mentors or friends who might be able to offer you practical advice and support. In times of stress, it’s good to have a network of people you can rely on.

After you’ve identified and addressed your present fears, you can examine what scares you about the future: Will you be able to retire or send your children to college as planned? Will you have to sell your practice, your primary residence or your vacation home? Can you afford the care your aging parents will require? Recognize that you’re operating in the realm of speculation and potential; none of these fear triggers exists in the present moment. Yet our fixation with what might happen often impacts us the most because it’s so amorphous and there is often not much we can do about it

Now write these fears down in the left column. Ask yourself if you need to deal with each one right now. If yes, then in the right column, identify practical steps you can take today to address the concern. If there is nothing you can do to resolve the fear, then perhaps you need to consider accepting and perhaps even surrendering to the reality.

As an old prayer says, “Lord, give me the strength to change those things that can be changed, the patience to withstand those that cannot be changed, and the wisdom to tell the difference.” I have derived strength and feelings of calmness from this saying over the years.

Opportunities For Growth And Hidden Opportunities Abound

Sometimes life deals us difficult cards and there is very little, if anything, we can do to change the situation. As a teenager, sports was my passion. During a college intramural basketball game, I suddenly found myself on the court struggling to breathe. In the hospital, I learned that I had a serious heart valve problem and that my competitive sports days were over. This was devastating for me. I was 20 years old, in awesome shape, and a good kid. How could this happen to me?

In the months and years ahead, this challenge presented a new set of opportunities for me that I would never have seen but for my medical crisis. Instead of going right from college to law school, I took four years off and traveled the world, the highlight of which was two years in India studying yoga and meditation. I have continued to pursue yoga, meditation and personal growth for 26 years now and have been able to integrate what I have learned from it into my law practice, my Legal Sanity blog, and training and development programs. In so many ways, my heart valve problem has enriched my life and the lives of others.

My experience is not unique. Whenever I give my “Legal Sanity, Don’t Be A Victim of Your Own Career” program, I ask participants to identify the three most beneficial events that happened in their lives. Almost without fail, at least one of the events listed by each person—and sometimes as many as three—was hugely beneficial but very painful, such as an illness, loss of a loved one, a divorce, or loss of a job.

If you know that there is a silver lining in the grey clouds that you cannot remove from your life, approaching the challenge from a new vantage point could release your stress and give you new energy.

All of us who have faced major challenges have something in common: we can choose how we want to relate to the situation. By choosing to grow, to make the best of the situation, we are much more likely to create a new reality for ourselves and our loved ones that may ultimately be much more rewarding and fulfilling than what we had before.