The Complete Lawyer

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
-Mary Oliver

“Life is too short to practice law if you don’t enjoy it. Figure out what you do enjoy and then find a way to do it.” Sounds like common sense, but it’s not so easy to follow when you are stressed out and feeling stuck. At least that is how it was for me 18 years ago when a friend of mine said those words after hearing me complain for the millionth time about how miserable I was. I quickly dismissed her advice as over-simplistic; after all, she was not a lawyer and just didn’t understand my situation. It was hard for the truth to penetrate the layers of frustration and negativity that had accrued over the years. I was in a job that was draining and was desperate to leave but could not see any way out. I wanted someone to just tell me what to do next, but no one could. My colleagues had their noses to the grindstone, intent on handling partners’ and clients’ demands and trying to meet billable-hour requirements.

Then something happened that gave my friend’s words new meaning: I met a former lawyer who absolutely loved his new career. It dawned on me that I could start my quest for a new career simply by focusing on what I would enjoy doing. Imagine that! It was like a lifeline to realize that I was not doomed to a life of misery. Even though I had invested eight years of my life in the law, and my lawyer-riddled family and friends would probably think I was nuts, I realized I could define success on my own terms, and set off to do just that.

Christopher Morley, an American editor and author, got it right when he said, “There is only one success… to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.” I had to first believe that I didn’t have to make a choice between being happy or making money, and that I could have both. I knew there had to be more to life than living for two-week vacations and some far-off retirement. Seeing someone else living the life of his dreams helped me tap into the part of me that knew it was possible to work at something I truly loved and have more control over my time and my life. I decided that if he could re-create his life, I could, too.

Change Takes Time

So can you. That is not to say the path out of the law is necessarily simple or that it happens overnight. Remember—it took you a few years to get where you are today, and so you need to give yourself some time to explore the right next step. You need to focus on your abilities, interests, values and goals, and then decide what you are willing to do to make it happen.

You may be thinking, “Forget the self assessment, I just want to know about the jobs other lawyers have gone into.” Examples of lawyers-turned-something else are abundant—some write novels, operate businesses or schools, counsel people, develop real estate, do executive coaching, and have art galleries. But looking at a list of new careers into which lawyers have moved won’t help you create a list of possibilities that best fit you. There isn’t a “one size fits all” solution. You need to get clear about what success means to you before you will be able to know which are right for you.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read about lawyers who have left the law, or even talk with some. Their stories are inspirational and give you hope about the possibilities.[1] Hearing about others who have successfully transitioned out of the law can also help get your creative juices flowing. Later on in the process, after you have identified some options you want to research, I will recommend you talk with others you target strategically.

For example, when I was considering my shift from lawyer to business owner in 1991, it was very motivating to talk with someone who had already done what I wanted to do. But if I had started talking with a host of entrepreneurs to get ideas about companies, I would have quickly been confused and overwhelmed, and no closer to knowing what would be most meaningful for me to pursue.

Ask Yourself Six Crucial Questions

I suggest you begin by figuring out what it is you want: what interests you, what is most important to you, what are you naturally good at. You are probably not accustomed to asking yourself these questions, and in fact, it’s probably been years since you considered them. Yet they are the secret to finding work that engages and fulfills you. Here are some exercises to get you going. Give them a try and don’t over-analyze at this point.

1. What do you want? What is most important to you?

“What I Want” Exercise: Get out a pad of paper and ask yourself questions about what you want in the various categories of your life. For example, what do you want from work? From home life? From relationships with people? From life? Give yourself 20 minutes to write whatever comes to mind.

Ideal Day Exercise: Picture what your ideal day would be like from the time you wake up until you go to bed, as if you are living it right then. Be specific and include details about what you do first, where you live, what time you get up, who is with you or are you alone, where you go to work, who you work with, the things you would be doing, when you leave work, what you do next, etc. Write about it as you go, using words that make it so real you can really picture and feel it. Don’t evaluate whether it could really happen.

Values Exercise: read my previous article “How Core Values and Family of Origin Impact Your Career” to help clarify what you hold most near and dear in life.

2. What interests you? Consider what draws your attention and gives passion and energy to your life.

Interest Exercises: Take a look at my article “Pay Attention to Your Skills and Interests,” for a list of things you can do to explore what interests you.

Interest File Exercise: Over the next six weeks, create a file of things that capture your attention and fascinate you. If you see a picture of something in a magazine, overhear someone talking, see a book in a bookstore, or learn about a new hobby that interests you, make a note of it and put it in your file, along with a little information about why it’s so interesting to you. For example, if you find yourself daydreaming about being a yoga teacher, you might include “calm, centered, helping others, peace, set own hours, physical health” in addition to “yoga instructor.” After six weeks, or whenever you have a good supply, pull the items out and sort them by category, and give each category a title. See if there are any themes that point you in certain directions.

3. What are your natural talents and abilities? You need to consider how you are hard-wired and what you naturally do well. If you work against your abilities, work feels like labor and tasks can feel like torture. If you work with them, everything is easier and more fun.

Abilities exercise: Read my previous article, “What are your Natural Talents and Abilities,” for an in-depth look at your abilities and information about how to uncover them.[2]

The sad truth is that many people often find themselves in jobs that do not allow them to capitalize and utilize their strengths. In a recent Gallup survey of more than 10 million people worldwide, only one-third of workers said that their jobs gave them the opportunity to do what they do best every day. However, those people who do have the opportunity to use their strengths in the workplace are “six times as likely to be engaged in their jobs and more than three times as likely to report having an excellent quality of life” than their co-workers.[3]