“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.”
- Lily Tomlin
Learning to become happy may sound strange. Many of us think of happiness as a state in which we happen to find ourselves. But as researchers in the emerging field of positive psychology are discovering, we can all adopt strategies to become happy.
Becoming change- and stress-resilient are essential components of happiness, especially for lawyers. Resilience is the ability to persevere and adapt when overcoming obstacles. The secret to the emotional intelligence competency of resilience is accurate thinking. We need to challenge limiting beliefs and negative thoughts. Managing stress and dealing with change allows you to excel in the workplace while maintaining a well-balanced, healthy lifestyle.
Unmanaged Stress Affects Physical Health
The legal profession is full of lawyers who are dissatisfied and abandoning the practice of law for less stressful careers. Increasing billable hour requirements, time pressures, and work/life balance issues are frequently cited as the reason for the high rates of lawyer dissatisfaction. Attorneys complain of little time for themselves or their families. (In contrast, happy people are less self-focused, less hostile, more loving, forgiving, trusting, energetic, decisive, enthusiastic, creative, sociable and helpful.) Contributing factors include anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and questions relating to personal values and the meaning of life.
Unmanaged stress increases anxiety, depression (we all know that there are many depressed lawyers), anger, substance abuse, and feelings of unhappiness, all of which decrease quality of life and workplace productivity. A Johns Hopkins study found that out of 104 occupational groups, lawyers were the most likely to suffer from depression—more than three times more likely than average. Nearly 75% of attorneys report experiencing high levels of stress; 66% of these attorneys report that their physical and emotional health suffers as a result.
The greatest source of stress is the tremendous internal pressure and anxiety that we create for ourselves through:
- worrying about situations we can’t control
- the unrealistic expectation that life can be problem-free
- comparing our achievements, or lack of them, to those of others
- perfectionism—expecting too much of ourselves or others
- competition—turning every encounter into a win-lose situation
- self-criticism—focusing on faults, rather than strengths
- insecurity—looking to others to provide emotional security rather than ourselves
- powerlessness—failing to see the choices that are available
- hurrying—constantly pushing ourselves to perform better and faster
- pessimism—expecting the worst from life
Take Action To Become Happier
To reduce the stress in your life and experience more happiness, begin by taking one of the steps below. Over the next 21 days, commit yourself to recording, measuring and implementing how this step helped you to successfully change.
Focus on the Positive – Write down your proudest accomplishments. When do you exhibit peak performance?
Get Organized – Put important things first. Learning the skill of self- management involves organizing and managing time and events based on personal priorities.
Do It Now – Procrastination breeds stress. Do your most difficult task at the beginning of the day when you’re fresh; avoid the stress of dreading it all day.
Stop Perfectionism – Perfectionism is often a poor use of time. High priority items require more perfection than low priority items. By demanding perfection of yourself and others, you may be wasting time in unnecessary effort.
Change Attitudes – Think of stressful situations as a challenge to your creative thinking rather than as insurmountable problems. Generate solutions.
Learn to Say “No” – Say “no” when your schedule is full: to responsibilities that aren’t yours; to emotional demands that leave you feeling exhausted; to other people’s problems that you don’t have the power to solve.
Take Care of Your Body - You will have more energy and become stress-hardy when you eat a balanced diet, get sufficient sleep and exercise regularly.
Optimistic Self-Talk – Use positive self-reinforcement: Say to yourself, ”I can handle this one step at a time,” instead of frightening or depressing yourself by coming up with reasons why you can’t cope.
Support – Actively seek support from friends, colleagues, and family. Don’t be a Lone Ranger.
Express Gratitude – Take time to appreciate what you have. Express appreciation to others.
Take Charge – Take responsibility for making your life what you want it to be. It is more empowering to feel a sense of control and to make decisions. Commit to what will bring meaning into your life and take action.