As the first person in my family to attend college, as well as obtain an advanced degree, I can speak firsthand to the challenges faced by those who do not have the benefit of close, experienced advisors to guide them along their educational and professional journeys. With the exception of a few gracious mentors (all of whom are white, heterosexual males) acquired along the way (and maintained to this day), I have mainly flown solo throughout my career. Along the way, when I looked ‘upward,’ I did not observe many role models with whom I was able to identify and thereby establish the sort of personal connection upon which effective mentoring relationships are founded. Many of the practitioners I encountered came from long lines of educated professionals, while I was raised as a latch-key kid in a lower middle-class, single-parent household by my blessed, high-school educated mother (to whom I owe everything).
Consequently, I felt like the proverbial fish out of water when I entered the legal profession, an experience largely consistent with my law school years. Needless to say, I felt isolated, (this was compounded by the fact that I am also a lesbian), which undoubtedly affected my outward behaviors; feeling insecure and excluded from the in-group, I’m reasonably certain that I presented as such. I was unassertive in team meetings and had doubts about my ability to succeed as an ‘outsider.’ This became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. I failed to fully appreciate that hard work and solid work product alone would not suffice. I didn’t understand the critical importance of overcoming the inhibitions I experienced from perceiving myself as very different from those around me, feelings which surely interfered with my ability to connect and thereby develop valuable relationships with others from whom I would have benefited.
There are myriad compelling reasons for focusing on professional relationship building, from business development to mentoring to advancement to prospective employment. Relationship development is an integral part of any professional’s success, and in the legal profession that includes building relationships early on with as many practitioners (future and current) as one can find law school classmates who may one day be prospective clients or employers, as well as heavy rainmakers and practice group leaders within one’s own organization who can, and do, influence the course of careers.
Mentors Are Especially Important For Minority Attorneys
Yet another important reason for building relationships, particularly for female and minority associates, is to identify many role models including members of the white male majority who can be emulated, in terms of certain commonly successful behaviors and practices. Female and minority associates gain a distinct advantage in overcoming the challenges they face in the (straight) white male majority-dominated legal profession when they have mentors who can help them hone presentation skills and develop career progression strategies. Simply put, we need to heed majority influences and behaviors to achieve a more linear path to professional success, as that is the reality within which we operate. Being a good lawyer in practice alone is not enough; you must also present as one in order to best market yourself both within and outside of your organization and thereby succeed.
Those of us traditionally underrepresented in the practice of law, who don’t have many available role models with whom we feel a strong sense of commonality, need to nevertheless strive to adopt certain ‘lawyer-like’ behaviors traditionally exhibited by members of the majority. This necessitates forging relationships with those within the majority even if that entails expanding one’s comfort zone (always a good exercise, in any event).
Adopt Lawyer-Like Behavior
Lawyers (and other professionals) who appear confident and authoritative and who rarely equivocate are generally perceived as decisive, skilled and accomplished; they instill confidence and present as strong leaders. However, as much as these behaviors can help client relations, they can also have the unintended effect of inhibiting attorneys who are less assertive, whether by nature or because of cultural factors such as socialization. Not every lawyer aspires to be a litigator although, invariably, ‘litigator type’ personalities tend to dominate.
Whether or not these commonly held perceptions of effective lawyering are in keeping with reality, these behaviors are often considered to be the norm and departures from that norm may tend to be viewed less favorably. Consequently, individuals who fail to conform to that norm, to at least some extent, may be viewed as less effective.
How, then, does an attorney to whom ‘litigator type’ behaviors do not come naturally adopt and exhibit those behaviors convincingly? How can he or she come to feel comfortable behaving in ways that are beyond their individual comfort zone? It can take enormous effort and energy, and may often feel ‘put on.’ However, as many will tell you, with practice and in time, anyone can break outside their comfort zone and learn to present in ways that initially felt awkward.
To expand one’s own comfort level, it is imperative that you observe the professional styles of those around you and incorporate into your own style those behaviors that appear most effective and that fit within your own personality type. In the course of making such observations, you will undoubtedly notice that many successful practitioners exhibit highly ineffective behaviors. It is most instructive to realize that even the best lawyers don’t do everything well, and former feelings of intimidation can dissipate and give rise to a greater sense of the unique value that each of us, as individuals with different strengths and weaknesses, brings to the organization.
Appreciate Your Unique Value
An internal metamorphosis, of sorts, must also occur. Recognizing that our differences bring enormous value to our organizations is nothing short of a professional epiphany. We can, thereby, truly embrace that which makes us different and forge ahead with a newfound confidence and belief in our own ability to succeed. To be sure, the diversification of the legal profession will enhance the legal process as well as the justice system as a whole. Clients will also benefit from diversified perspectives and strategies.
Recognizing these truths will help female and minority associates develop a more confident, assertive, and unique personal style. By digging deep within ourselves and utilizing all available resources we each have it within our power to develop assertive, proactive, confidence-inspiring professional demeanors that not only lend to advancing in the profession but also to feeling a much higher level of professional satisfaction.
It is a process, to be sure, but one that can eventually lead female and minority attorneys to find their rightful place in the legal profession while still maintaining their own distinct sense of self.
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