You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. – Dale Carnegie

As a new associate in a law firm, you’re undoubtedly trying to determine the most crucial survival rules. The message to meet your billable-hours requirements, triple-check your work and cultivate your legal skills are emblazoned in your brain. But if you heed only that advice, you’ll spend endless hours at your desk and fail at one of the two most important tasks you need to master to ensure a successful career. Second only to developing your technical expertise, you need to build your social capital.

Too many young attorneys mistakenly wait until they want another job or need to develop business before devoting time and energy to nurturing interpersonal resources. If you wait, you’re already missing out on the enormous benefits they can provide right now.

What is social capital? It is the resources—information, ideas, influence, mentoring, opportunities for assignments and business, job leads, assistance, cooperation, referrals, trust and emotional support—that reside within the relationships you develop as you create your personal and business networks. These are not personal resources: you never own them. They exist only in the context of authentic relationships with other people, both within and outside of your firm.

Jettison The Myth Of Individualism

If individualism is a uniquely American value, then law firms are particularly American. Law firm culture places singular emphasis on individual abilities and effort. You are rewarded for the hours you bill; typically, partners are compensated for the business they individually originate. The mythology that success is forged by heroic individual feats remains unquestioned.

The fact that no one succeeds without the help of others is one of the elephants in the law firm lobby. If success depended solely upon individual effort and ability, why are partners leveraging your research and writing abilities, to say nothing of your time? Why do teams of lawyers work on RFPs and pitches if self-reliance is really all it takes? The partners giving you work didn’t reach their lofty positions thanks to individualism: good law professors, great mentors and powerful advocates helped them every step of the way. You need the same kind of training and advocacy to succeed at your firm.

Even if you don’t care about becoming partner, your need for social capital doesn’t diminish. In fact, your social capital requirements may be even greater than if you plan to stay. Certainly recruiters can find you other law firm jobs. But what if you want to transition to a different kind of setting? How can you learn about what it’s really like to work in any given workplace without some insider information?

The key to success, wherever you work, is to find a niche that allows you to be of value and to develop professionally. No one can do that without social capital.

Help Yourself By Helping Others

Developing your social capital may sound like currying favor with those who can give you what you need to get ahead, but in fact nothing’s further from the truth. The paradox of social capital is that you will only reap its benefits if your networking efforts are driven by generosity. To the extent to which you develop relationships in order to get something for yourself, you will fail.

Social capital is the by-product of your efforts to contribute to the success of others and to activities which you find intrinsically meaningful and rewarding. Helping others without regard to how they will help you is the best way to make sure that you will benefit from the network relationships you create.

Networking is about giving, not getting. Once you embrace this seeming contradiction, you’re ready to begin working toward professional and personal success.

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Just ten years ago, this experience was a big part of life for new litigation associates. Conference rooms like this existed in most every large firm with a litigation practice. Today electronic file review has made these practices obsolete. No longer do associates need to gather in cramped conference rooms or drafty warehouses; instead, they review files in the comfort and quiet of their offices. More efficient, right?

Later that day, I met a first-year associate who had been a part of that hard-copy document review. She said it was one of the best learning opportunities and most memorable work experiences she had had since arriving at the firm eight months earlier. Though grueling, she said it had been fun to work with fellow associates in one room. Often, the partner stopped by to see how they were doing, let them know what was going on in the case, and share a piece of late-night pizza. Senior associates rolled up their sleeves and dug into the boxes alongside them and over the course of several long nights, shared stories about reviews they had done as new associates. She learned more in two weeks than she had in the previous six months because she was exposed to others’ ideas, had the chance to interact with more senior lawyers, and developed deeper relationships with her team members. If she had been sitting in her office viewing documents on her monitor, she would have missed all this interpersonal contact and consequent learning. Communicating by email offers little time for relationship building.

Technology Gets In The Way Of Crucial Relationship-Building

I’m not advocating a return to old-style document reviews, but it is important to consider the impact of this new approach to practice on associates’ learning and quality of experience. Because associates’ lives are ruled by technology and billable hours, they learn quickly that hours trump excellence much of the time. Social interaction is rare. Many associates don’t enjoy meaningful contact with senior lawyers who should be sharing their knowledge and experience. Is it a surprise that associates are a bit cynical about their experiences in larger firms? Are these the ideal conditions for the development of loyalty and commitment to an employer?

Yet rather than see this cynicism as a consequence of changes to the way law is practiced in large firms, many blame “Generation Y” associates. They are referred to as the “trophy generation” and derided for growing up believing that everyone deserved to be the best, regardless of actual performance.

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Are you a high achiever or a slacker? To get on the fast track with your career, you should know a few things about how your more senior colleagues view you and how you can shine despite the many millennial myths.

Myth #1: Millennials Are Capricious

Even Generation Xers shake their heads at the young associate who quits a job unexpectedly without another opportunity lined up. While you may be more cautious, your generation has the reputation for making whimsical decisions, and for not being reliable in the long run.

Senior partners are less likely to invest a lot of time or money in your development if they believe that you’ll be leaving in six months or a year to “follow your bliss.” This attitude, however, inadvertently creates a higher churn rate of young associates.

To bust this myth, take opportunities to talk about your role in the practice and what you hope to achieve. Create your own 90-day (or three-year) personal development plan and let the bosses know that you are serious about contributing to the firm. This will send a message of stability that your peers probably aren’t duplicating.

Myth #2: Millennials Expect Instant Rewards

Just because you’re referred to as Generation Y doesn’t mean that you expect bonuses and promotions and trips to exotic destinations at every turn…or do you?

Yes, my young associates, I know that you appreciate rewards for a job well done, but no one is applauding anymore just because you showed up. Be prepared, prompt and ready to contribute to the conversation.

There still isn’t a law firm I know that offers a partnership in less than five years; for many it’s much longer. Even if you’re not interested in this, you still need to prove yourself—especially in that first year—and sometimes the work is less than stimulating. If you can perform your job enthusiastically and watch for more challenging assignments while providing excellent feedback and suggestions, the partners may throw you a bone if not a cookie.

Myth #3: Millennials Are Allergic To Long Hours

“How do we promote these people when they don’t seem interested or want to put in the necessary time?” asks the senior partner who has sacrificed and sweated for the firm. At the same time, the young associate is asking, “If I get all my work done in 9 hours instead of 12, why can’t I go play basketball after work?”

There is a pervasive belief that trickles even into work/life balance crusaders from Generation X: long hours equal advancement. Communicating a strong work ethic is important if you want to get noticed.

As I mentioned in an earlier article, get in the habit of checking and following up on email, texts or your Facebook friends first thing in the morning, around noon, and then at night. By scheduling it, you will improve productivity—and also appear to be hard at work! In reality, you are focused on important tasks during the day and handling correspondence efficiently, which is a great career habit.

Keep in mind that the dynamics of law firm culture will change as younger partners gain power. You might still work long hours, but where and how you put them in could change and they won’t be the only determining factors in your success.

Myth #4: Millennials Need Coddling

Partners and marketing directors alike have complained to me that young associates need too much handling and lack initiative. Raised by the most hands-on, involved parents to date, they tend to look to others for reassurance and feedback before they make decisions.

This isn’t necessarily a bad trait, but a little initiative and imagination can go a long way with management. Be an order taker, but also look for ways to add value to the firm that others may not have suggested. Not all of your ideas may fly, but you’ll establish yourself as an independent thinker capable of more than what’s served to you.

The fast career track requires commitment, a willingness to work in the trenches at times, focus and an agile mind—excellent advice for professionals at any age or level.

Now go bust some myths!

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This is just one of many widely reported anecdotes about user innovation, a term that refers to innovations developed by customers and end users rather than manufacturers. But it’s more than just another business term.

We refer to the brave new world in which we live in with many different monikers: it’s the Experience Economy; the Conceptual Age; the Creative Age, and the Culture of Meaning, among others. Whatever we call it, it’s a world in which people are no longer content to sit on the sidelines. They want to actively participate in and shape the different dimensions of their lives. They’re on a quest for meaning: they want to feel valued, important and visible.

Companies all over the world have recognized that their customers/consumer base is a natural resource that can be tapped to enhance products and services. The beauty of user innovation is that it’s so symbiotic: The user-innovator gains a sense of meaningful contribution while the company benefits in terms of productivity, customer satisfaction and revenues.

Law Firms Have User Innovators Already In Place

Law firms, which have been taking cues from their corporate counterparts in terms of handling the business side of law practice, are asking themselves who they can turn to for user innovation. Who are law firm users?

Clients, to be sure. But lawyers are users, too. In fact, in many ways, they’re the front-line (and perhaps, most important) consumers, challengers and creators of their firm’s business culture. What would law firms look like if they considered their lawyers a community of user-innovators and actively nurtured that potential?

Many law firm associates are ready, willing and able to test the waters of user innovation—the contingent of young lawyers from the latter part of Generation X (born 1975-80) and from Generation Y (born after 1980). Typically, these lawyers place a high value on meaningful work. They’re collaborative, inclusive and incredibly tolerant of others. They thrive on open communication and crave constructive feedback. While they respect authority, they’re not afraid to stand up and express themselves. In terms of work-life goals and boundaries, they seek workplace flexibility. Often referred to as dual-centric, they want to manage their work and personal lives effectively. Unlike their parents who charged into the workforce believing that they “live to work,” these young practitioners “work to live.”

Some law firms respond by saying, “Hey, this is not what the law and law firm life are all about. If you’re looking for meaning or for an easy path, here’s the door. Leave the firm, leave the law, it’s up to you, but we’re not changing.” Other firms, however, see that their business model needs updating to meet the changing needs of present and future lawyers. They understand that the problems they’re having with retention, attrition and leadership succession are harbingers of a growing misfit between the firm’s environment and the people inhabiting it.

Law firms that embrace the need to change will benefit most from the input of their resident user innovators.

The Process Needs To Be Controlled But Open-Ended

To field these contributions, law firms first need to let the target group of associates know that the firm recognizes that they have a lot of valuable insight to offer and explain why their insight is being sought. This candor sets a precedent of open exchange.

Next, firms can invite the associates to design and implement a blueprint for gathering input on the firm’s culture and business approach. Since these young attorneys grew up in the digital era of fast-paced communication, their blueprint will likely include opportunities for online discussion and collaboration.

Real time opportunities also abound. Whether they take the form of mentoring teams, affinity groups, pro bono initiatives or associate committees, all of these information-gathering efforts should encourage daily interaction and dialogue between the younger lawyers and more senior ones across several areas:

• Work Assignments
• Firm Administration and Direction
• Professional Development/Business Development
• Client Relations
• Work-Life Synergy

While it may be tempting for the more senior practitioners to take the lead and direct the process, that’s not what user innovation is all about. At the same time, amassing this information shouldn’t become a free-for-all. Parameters should be set and communicated. But the target group of user-innovators needs to control the process and determine its outcome.

Of course, real innovation requires more than just dialoguing and gathering input. It requires action. And action requires leadership. Smart firms—the ones that recognize the looming deficit in their leadership ranks—will see this as a key opportunity to groom future leaders. They’ll encourage members of the user-innovator group to direct efforts to bring their ideas to fruition.

Put into action in this way, user innovation yields programs, business tools and affiliations that benefit the firm and its lawyers on many levels. Although it can yield such tangible and quantifiable results, it’s not a one-off project. Rather, it’s an ongoing process of creating a firm culture and climate that reflect the interests, needs and values of the people who work there. It’s a direct route to infusing law firm life with the very qualities of participation and meaning for which so many attorneys hunger.

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Today’s associates must do more, however, beginning with their first days in the firm. Expand Herrmann’s advice to include learning practice skills that will be the foundation of the way you will serve clients and develop new business. Consider yourself an apprentice of the lawyers with whom you’re working and study how they interact with clients. What do clients like, and what raises their ire? How do these lawyers approach business development?

Don’t stop with the lawyers you work with regularly; seek out mentors who will guide and encourage you—and also serve as resources for the questions that you may not want to ask the lawyers who will determine your career advancement. Some firms have started to create programs that treat junior associates as apprentices and invite them to observe how legal work is done. If you’re not working at one of those firms, though, search out your own opportunities.

What to learn from these lawyers? Excellence in client service and rainmaking requires a range of skills and attitudes, of course, but three skills underlie all of the others:

1. Ask Thought-provoking Questions

To serve a client well and to become the kind of advisor to whom a client will turn repeatedly over time, you must know the client’s goals. The same is true in business development: understanding the client’s concerns is a prerequisite for getting the business. Don’t, however, get caught up in asking a brilliant question or a question that reveals how much you know. Instead, aim for open-ended questions that focus on the matter at hand and provide space for a client to move into broader business concerns.

Asking expansive questions allows the client to guide the conversation as he prefers; follow-up questions draw out the necessary information. Depending on the context, the following questions serve as good conversation-starters:

• What are your ultimate objectives?
• How does this matter fit into the broader business context?
• What are you most concerned about?
• What do you need from this situation and what would you like?
• What are the biggest obstacles you see?

Follow-up questions can be as simple as:

• Tell me more?
• What else should I know?
• What’s an example of ___?

Create the opportunity for your client (or potential client) to share what’s on her mind with you. Your goal is to get the facts, understand her concerns, and draw out as much information as possible. Simple questions are usually best. To make the most of this skill, however, you need to master the next one.

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You probably think that solos simply churn out form documents for simpleton clients who need help with run-of-the-mill problems like estate planning, divorce or landlord tenant matters, while law firm associates grapple with earth-shattering matters, sophisticated business clients and demanding law firm partners. And for goodness sakes, you’re billed out at an hourly rate that matches or exceeds what most solos charge. So what secrets of success can you possibly learn from us?

Plenty. But before we get started, you’ll have to dispel your negative impression of solo practitioners. First, though you may not realize it, many solos handle complicated, traditionally “biglaw matters” such as tax, corporate transactional work, regulatory and complex litigation. Even solos with consumer-oriented specialties like criminal law, consumer credit, bankruptcy or family law regularly encounter constitutional issues or dissect tricky federal and state statutes. And while solos may charge less than a biglaw associate, because of lean staffing and low overhead, they also pocket a larger percentage (as much as 80%) of that $300/hr billable than you do.

Solos also oversee office administration, manage employees or virtual staff, and constantly market their practice. Once you begin to view solos not as loser-lawyers who couldn’t cut it in biglaw practice but as a blend of independent lawyer, team manager and entrepreneur, you’ll appreciate how solos’ secrets of success can help you succeed as well.

Own It!

The first secret of solos’ success is that we recognize that we don’t merely work at our firm; we own it. Every action that we take—or don’t take—directly impacts our own bottom line. Early on, we learn to assume full responsibility for our caseload, our clients and our destiny, which means that we’re well acquainted with the mindshift that ownership brings. If you own your own home, for example, you invest more in its upkeep than you did in the apartment that you rented during law school.

Granted, as an associate, you don’t own your law firm or the clients whose matters you handle. Nevertheless, to succeed you need to act as if you do. Ask yourself a question: if you did own your own firm, would you send out a poorly proofed or ill-formatted document to a client because it was only a draft? Of course not, because you’d realize that it would reflect badly on your firm. If you wouldn’t accept substandard work, neither will your current superiors. Act as if you own the place, and perhaps some day you will.

Get What You Need No Matter What

We solos have no one to rely on but ourselves. We must exercise our professional, independent judgment to determine what we need to effectively and zealously represent our clients—and stop at nothing to get it. That may mean asking a series of seemingly stupid questions to a colleague; hiring a more experienced lawyer to help out on a case; demanding, repeatedly, that a balky client tell the truth about an incident so that we can evaluate her case and establish a suitable strategy; or standing firm before an insulting, nasty judge to make sure that we properly preserve an objection for appeal.

As an associate, you also must figure out what you need for a case and get it at any cost. If you believe that you can’t meaningfully research whether your client’s contract was supported by legally sufficient consideration without reviewing the contract itself, then you must insist on getting a copy. There’s no sense in sabotaging yourself and producing less than your best work because you didn’t seek out the resources that were necessary to succeed.

Build Relationships, Not Contact Lists

My mailing list of contacts comprises an important part of my marketing efforts. I can blast contacts with a press release about a recent victory or forward a link to a recent blog post. But while contact lists keep me loosely connected with a large group of existing clients and remote prospects, the bulk of my business comes through referrals from close working relationships that I’ve cultivated over time. For example, since 2002, when I began blogging, I’ve been building relationships with the pioneering community of bloggers and they, in turn, have put me in touch with sources of business. I’ve formed alignments with other solo energy lawyers here in the D.C. area; we’ll often refer cases back and forth and team up on matters. Thanks to blogs and listserves, I’ve developed lasting friendships with several accomplished female solo lawyers who inspire me with the ways that they balance family, law practice and thriving entrepreneurial careers.

Conventional wisdom suggests that you work with many different lawyers at your firm, and you may well feel that simply knowing more people will enhance your job security. Though there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to many people, it pays to build trusted relationships with a select few partners and associates with whom you share common goals and values. They’re the people who will go to bat for you and will continue to root for you even if you eventually leave the firm.

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Despite these pressures, however, today’s young lawyers are eager to learn and to build their skills and knowledge as quickly as possible. Not only do firms expect them to be productive quickly, but associates themselves place a premium on obtaining the quality of experience and knowledge that will efficiently advance their development.

It’s no secret that law firms are less stable today than in the past. Firms routinely dissolve, restructure, and merge with other firms. Practice groups and partners move freely among firms as their needs and opportunities change. Because of this instability, and the trend toward promoting fewer associates to partnership, associates today—as well as their counterparts in industries that have borne the brunt of layoffs and downsizing—have no illusions of job security.

“Employability Security” Is Portable

Instead, young lawyers seek “employability security,” that is, portable experience and knowledge that will make them attractive not only to their current employers, but also to future employers if they need to change jobs for any reason. Given this environment, it’s not surprising that associates resist being pigeonholed into limited practice niches or placed on repetitive projects for extended periods of time. They can’t afford to spend years on a massive document review project while their cohorts are learning to take depositions and develop case strategies.

In fact, an employer’s failure to provide sufficient opportunities for development may, in and of itself, cause an associate to change firms.1 Young lawyers view the dedication of their talent and commitment to an employer as a personal investment, and will leave an employer if they feel their investment is being wasted.2 They need development opportunities that will make their investment in an employer worthwhile.

These opportunities may take many forms. According to a 2007 survey by Hildebrandt International, the five factors that contribute most to associate satisfaction are stimulating and professionally challenging work, an atmosphere that encourages discussions with peers to acquire skills and share knowledge, informal hands-on training, regular feedback on performance and quality of work, and being provided with a mentor.3 Accordingly, employers must implement comprehensive initiatives that go far beyond formal training programs if they seek to retain talented associates.

Understand The Generational Profile Of Today’s Young Lawyers

Most young lawyers today belong to the cohort known as “Generation X,” born roughly between 1962 and 1981. Although Xers, now between the ages of 27 and 45, have dominated the associate and junior partner ranks for several years, most law firms are still run by Baby Boomers, who are now between the ages of 46 and 62. The “Millennials,” born after 1982, have begun to enter the legal workplace as summer associates and recent law school graduates. Both Xers and Millennials are technologically adept, value work/life balance, expect to change jobs or careers multiple times in their lives, and adapt to change quickly.

Generation X grew up under different cultural influences than those that shaped their Baby Boomer colleagues. In contrast to the prosperous, post-war America of the Boomers, characterized by plentiful jobs, higher per capita income, and the ability to finance more years of education than ever before, Xers came of age in an era of Watergate, inflation, corporate layoffs, high divorce rates, and two-income households. As a result, they are self-reliant, independent, skeptical of authority, and highly adaptable.

Unlike the workplace of the 1950’s through the 1970’s, the workplace in which the Xers came of age values economics and efficiency over loyalty to people; pensions have given way to 401K’s. Long-term employment is rare, as companies downsize to adjust to economic circumstances, increasingly use independent contractors, and outsource many labor niches to foreign countries.

As a result, young lawyers, as well as Xers in other industries, view themselves as “the sole proprietors of our own creative abilities—we have to be entrepreneurial with our skills and abilities in order to build within ourselves portable assets for the future.” (Tulgan, n.2 at 144.) Encouraged to join the Army by TV commercials challenging them to “Be All That You Can Be,” the Xers believe that their “work repertoires and creative abilities represent the only long-term assets on which we can depend.” (Tulgan, Id.)

Some Boomers express irritation at the Xers’ “free agent” mentality, and interpret Xers’ quest for portable skills as a lack of loyalty. However, most Boomers grew up, like their Veteran parents, in an era during which job security was not only attainable but the norm.

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According to serious demographers and pop sociologists, Gen Y is identified as Americans born between 1979 and 1994, currently ranging in age from 13 to 28. There are a lot of them: somewhere around 70 million, which is three times the size of “Generation X” before them; in fact, their numbers rival the fabled Baby-Boomers, who check in at about 72 million.

Because their parents were Boomers, many Gen Y kids were cuddled and snuggled—and overscheduled. They weren’t spanked; instead, their self-esteem was carefully nurtured. (Remember, they were raised in the era when every kid on the soccer team gets an end-of-season trophy.) The 1980s and 1990s were also affluent years, allowing many parents to focus on their kids financially as well.

Help Your Young Employees Reach Their Potential—And Not Drive You Crazy

As working adults, Gen Y brings a good deal of well-honed talent and confidence to the table. But after all those years of attention and encouragement, Gen Y craves even more attention and encouragement—which can tire their managers and make older workers roll their eyes.

How can you take advantage of these high performance workers and simultaneously best manage their high maintenance needs? Here are some ideas:

Give Reasons

Gen Y workers have the confidence to question everything; they’re also likely to resist doing something simply because they’re told to. If no one gives them reasons, they quickly assume their own positions are superior. Tamara Erickson, co-author of the book Workforce Crisis (2006) wrote, “I had a conversation with the CFO of a big company in New York, and he said, ‘I can’t find anyone to hire who’s willing to work 60 hours a week. Can you talk to them?’ And I said, ‘Why don’t I start by talking to you? What they’re really telling you is that they’re sorry it takes you so long to get your work done.’” First lesson: if you want a Gen Y worker to do it your way, make sure you can make your way make sense.

Set Clear Expectations And Goals

As managers of Gen Y, you already know that you have to encourage and praise your new workers more than you do older workers. But for such recognition to be anything other than gratuitous, it has to be based on something meaningful. Make sure that you have identified, at least to yourself, clear performance expectations for your workers so you’ll know what to reward. Of course, this makes good management sense for many other reasons as well.

A Little Public Recognition Goes A Long Way

The Gen Y worker loves to see her name on a certificate and to hear herself referred to in the little speech you deliver to her peers about her strengths. She’d also really appreciate a gift card to Starbucks to celebrate her success. Perhaps your organization already has programs that motivate workers through recognition, but, if not, you may have to create new opportunities for this kind of acknowledgement. Visit with HR to brainstorm ideas.

Eradicate Foolish Consistency

Research and educated speculation all address the newest version of the generation gap: Gen Yers crave attention and recognition while older workers believe that jobs should be done in a dignified way—and quietly. That’s why you may see these older workers cringing as you deliver the encouraging speech the Gen Yer craves. To satisfy everyone, make sure you have more than one tool in your toolbox. Understanding that some people are motivated by recognition and others by autonomy, fit your management practices to the individual needs of your workers. Be careful, though, that no one construes your efforts to meet people’s different needs as unfairness. Again, HR may be able to help you devise the most strategic approach.

Don’t blame Mr. Rogers for a generation of workers who have grown up being told they are, indeed, special just the way they are. Rather, adopt some new strategies that will help you recognize the full potential of Gen Y, and create a happier, more productive workforce.

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Now comes the really interesting part—but first I’ll have to lay some groundwork (discovery, I believe you folks call it).

I am the Medical Director for an organization called HeartMath, LLC, which started as a research institute in the early ‘90s. Researchers there tripped over a number of intriguing findings that violated two paradigms we’d all been taught. First, they noted that the electromagnetic signal causing the heart to beat (EKG) was actually about 50 times the electrical amplitude of the electromagnetic signal from the brain (EEG). It had always been assumed that the brain signal was stronger.

Researchers also noticed that there is far more information traveling north from heart to brain than the other way around. We’d always assumed that the brain was the master control organ. What did these surprising dual findings mean?

We Lead With Our Hearts

It means that the heart is not just a pump, as we had been taught—even cardiologists like me. The very powerful signals emanating from the heart ascend not only to the brain centers we’ve known about for a long time that modulate blood pressure, heart rate and respiration, but also to the emotional centers of the brain. Most important, they reach into the cortex, or brain’s top layer, that controls executive function, analytical processes, language, communication, and a host of other tasks that make us human. This cerebral cortex, which is huge relative to other parts of the brain, is what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom, enabling us to work as doctors, and lawyers, and teachers, and weather forecasters.

It also turns out that this very powerful signal coming from the heart can only exist in two patterns, or signatures. Pattern A is a very chaotic pattern. We see it when we are under stress, and the stress response is playing “on our hard drive.” Unfortunately, if I were to hook you up to a Heart Rate Variability monitor (the same technology used in fetal monitors), I would find that most of you would be in this pattern for the vast majority of your waking hours.

The second heartbeat signal is a very smooth, orderly pattern of rising and falling that looks like a sine wave and is called a “coherent” pattern, a term from physics which means orderliness within a pattern of change.

Change The Channel When Your Heart Sings The Stress Song

Your heart signal, the most powerful signal you’ve got by a factor of 50, is singing the stress song into your hard drive almost all day, every day. This is how we live. All sorts of things trip our stress button at any given moment: kids, spouses, clients, colleagues, meetings, traffic jams, making partner, taxes—they all aggravate us. And we’ve learned to be aggravated, angry, frustrated, and resentful most of the time. As a matter of fact, we’ve learned that feeling this way and expressing it clearly is a mark of status or importance. Those of you who litigate are in a perpetual state of warfare: it’s part of your job.

What are the consequences of the stress pattern being played on our internal hard drives more frequently than the smooth, coherent pattern? Funny you should ask.

When your stress button has been pushed, the stress pattern traveling from heart to brain creates a phenomenon called cortical inhibition. This means that the “smart” part of your brain that you use all day in your work and with your family is inhibited, which is how stress makes you stupid. This makes sense in terms of survival. When you’re confronted with a tiger, it’s best to get the heck out of there, so your nervous system reacts with adrenaline and cortisol and your heart amplifies the signal which actually shuts down your higher functions. In that scenario, the last thing you need to be doing is studying torts or contracts. If you run like the wind without stopping to think, you might actually get away.

Let me ask you—when are you most likely to do something stupid? When you’re over the edge, right? When you are arguing with someone you love more than anyone on earth, don’t you catch yourself saying and doing things that will be guaranteed to bring you more stress? When we react out of stress, we almost always incur more stress. I bet you can think of many examples of this right now, whether they occur during work, family time, or play.

We’re Most Creative When We’re Relaxed

Don’t despair. The good news is that when your heart sings the coherent signal, all sorts of good things happen. These signals run up to the brain and create cortical facilitation, or enhanced function in the smart part of your brain. Think about it: When do you get your best ideas, stumble over inspired solutions, and enjoy your most creative moments? Most people say, “in the shower,” “right before I fall asleep,” “driving in my car,” or “while exercising.” It’s never when there’s a proverbial gun to your head.

So if stress triggers a whole cascade of biochemical reactions which end up hurting us (unless we are in physical danger), and sends very powerful signals up into our brains which make us stupid, we’re at a real disadvantage if that button is pushed repeatedly, especially when we’re not really threatened. On the other hand, if this very powerful heart signal could be electively switched to the coherent signal, we might not only live a little longer, but also sound smarter when talking to our wives, kids, friends, or opposing counsel.

Being more attuned to the physical feelings we get when our stress response is triggered is the first step. In the next installment, I’ll discuss how the HeartMath tools for stress reduction were developed. And I’ll talk about how these tools can be used right in the moment to change that stress signal from one that will almost certainly hurt you to one that can help you, in a heartbeat. That’s what HeartMath is all about.

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