5:30 a.m. Rise cheerfully and spend a little quiet time having tea and reading.
6:30 a.m. Showered and ready, I straighten up the house and plan something for dinner, then wake my daughter and we spend morning time with my husband eating a nice hot breakfast.
7:30 a.m. I kiss my husband and daughter goodbye as they head off to work and preschool and I go to the office.
8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. I meet with clients, handle paperwork and billing, follow up on projects and check in with my productive team.
5:30 p.m. I head to a yoga class or go for a run.
6:30 p.m. I enjoy a nutritious dinner with my husband and daughter, do housework and the bedtime routine.
8:30 p.m. I follow up on calls, paperwork and emails.
9:30 p.m. I spend quality time with my husband.
10:30 p.m. I’m in bed for a blissful sleep.

This is the myth of balance: a compartmentalized section of time for each important piece of your life. Unfortunately, when your daughter catches a cold, you get a flat tire, a client calls without a scheduled appointment, and your in-laws are coming to town while you are planning a major business trip, balance is the last thing on your mind. Survival would be a more appropriate goal.

Plan For Contingencies

As you progress in your career, you will have more success and enjoy more sanity if you learn the art of fluidity. Fluidity looks something like this:

5:30 a.m. Wake to the sound of your child crying or your neighbor making a racket. Start the coffee pot.
6:30 a.m. Showered and ready, you hold out hope that the day will not go completely as you expect. Take a deep breath and dive in. (Having your briefcase packed the night before and eating a good breakfast can help you weather last-minute surprises like traffic jams and missing socks.)
7:30 a.m. Remember that it’s your turn to pick up staff meeting treats. Call the office and let them know you’ll be in later than expected.
8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Meet with clients, handle a call from spouse about the checkbook balance, order a cake for the in-laws and schedule a haircut, work on paperwork and billing, follow up with a client on a case question for the third time, attend staff meeting that was rescheduled from yesterday, coordinate with secretaries on depositions, proof latest legal blog, get an invitation to spend happy hour with an important client, call spouse to rearrange dinner plans.
5:30 p.m. Think about exercise while at happy hour with client.
7:30 p.m. At home, spend time talking and eating reheated dinner with spouse.
8:30 p.m. Follow up on calls, paperwork and emails.
9:30 p.m. Spouse is asleep. Do laundry.
10:30 p.m. Think about reading the book you started before Christmas.

To endure a day like this, being flexible and fluid is key: it can mean the difference between calm focus on the task at hand or an angry outburst.

Learn The Art Of Fluidity In Three Steps

To build a sense of fluidity into your work day, try these suggestions:

1. Focus on what’s in front of you. Every morning the sun will rise and set and you will do your best in between to accomplish the day’s most important tasks. They may not be the tasks you have on your to-do list, so allow yourself to roll with the demands that come your way. If you had a social engagement planned and your boss needs a case file reviewed, accept the challenge of being the go-to associate.

2. View your week in a seven- rather than five-day cycle and extend your idea of business hours. This is counterintuitive to the traditional work/life balance ideal, but it’s great for fluidity. For example, you could set up your weekend as stretching from Friday afternoon through Sunday morning and then work on Sunday afternoon or evening. You could set aside non-demanding business tasks like reviewing blogs or reading trade pubs for Saturday during your workout.

Think about your energy level; at what times of day are you most productive and how does this correspond to the demands of your job? If you’re a night owl, find out if you can schedule late office hours a couple days a week. This will all depend on firm expectations and policies, but the more you prove yourself to be a valuable team player, the more flexibility you will gain.

3. Schedule downtime. If you feel as though you are working all of the time, you’ll just become another legal industry casualty. Get together with colleagues and friends for lunch, happy hour or weekend activities. During the work week, take mini-breaks by stepping outdoors, listening to music, stretching or creating a wish list. Do things that refresh your mind, including eating small snacks like nuts and fruit throughout the day.

Fluidity doesn’t segment your life but integrates it. If your goal is to do fulfilling work that blends well with your other interests and responsibilities, you have the right attitude.

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We Need To Acknowledge Fear

Fear is a primal response that we’re all very familiar with. It’s often described as an emotion or feeling. We say, “I feel scared” or “I’m frightened.” But according to experts, fear is also a physiological response deeply rooted in the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers a surge of adrenaline and other stress hormones that compel us to fight, flee or freeze when we perceive a life threatening, imminent danger.

Undoubtedly, this is a very important and proven survival instinct.

Unfortunately, we often have a hard time distinguishing between fear rooted in real and present dangers and fear about future events and possible outcomes. Even in the absence of an immediate threat, our automatic response system kicks in and we freeze, flee or fight when we really need to be calm, reflective and deliberative.

According to an ancient Eastern saying, “Fear fears the light of consciousness.” In other words, we can dispel or reduce our fear by making a conscious effort to see it for what it really is. Our challenge is to become more aware of our fear. We need to unmask it and discern if the things we’re afraid of are real or imagined.

Learn To Decode Your Fear

As our economy falters, many lawyers are facing some of their biggest fears: loss of livelihood, stature, identity and the ability to provide for their families and themselves. While this can be very daunting, it also offers a great opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow professionally and personally.

In her inspiring book, When Things Fall Apart, American-born Buddhist nun Pema Chodron shares this parable:

“The young student warrior was told that she had to do battle with fear. When the day came, the young warrior faced her opponent and asked, ‘How can I defeat you?’ Fear responded, ‘My weapons are that I talk very fast and get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.’ In this way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.”

As Chodron illustrates, a healthy and constructive way to deal with fear is to understand what it is and how it affects us.

To decode your fear, sit in a quiet space and think about what’s going on in your life right now, in this very moment, that’s making you scared. I recommend taking 10 or so deep breaths to calm yourself. Remember, as you reflect on your fear, you can trigger the physiological amygdala-hormone response. This impacts your body, which in turn impacts your mind. You can and need to counter this response through breath and focus. Otherwise, you’ll get swept into the fight, flee and freeze reaction. Keep returning to your breath if you find yourself getting nervous, anxious or distracted.

Remember, this is a fluid process. If you find that you’re still unsettled and having problems regaining your focus, you can also try mind-body disciplines like meditation and yoga or grounding forms of physical exercise. (Visit [http://www.legalsanity.com/about-arnie/articles-ebooks/] for articles I’ve written about meditation.)

Next, take a piece of paper and create two columns. In the left column, respond to the following questions:

• Do you lack the basics for survival—food, clothing, shelter?
• Have you lost your job, house or health insurance?
• Are you unable to make your credit card, car or student loan payments?

Be very concrete, specific and thorough (“I’m afraid because I just got laid off”). But, most of all, be vigilant about staying in the here and now. Breathe.

Once you’ve answered these questions regarding your fears about your present reality, identify practical steps you can take to manage that reality. For example, one of the lawyers I coach recently shared that three of his biggest clients had told him that they couldn’t pay his legal fees for services already rendered. I helped him identify his fear of not having the income needed to pay his business and personal expenses. I then had him reflect on what he could do about the situation. He came up with the action points of setting up a credit card payment system, letting his clients know that he needed to get paid and establishing payment plans if they couldn’t pay in full. He followed through on all three points and the payments started flowing in.

For each of your fears, identify what action you might take and write it down in the right column of your page. This is a great time to ask for input from mentors or friends who might be able to offer you practical advice and support. In times of stress, it’s good to have a network of people you can rely on.

After you’ve identified and addressed your present fears, you can examine what scares you about the future: Will you be able to retire or send your children to college as planned? Will you have to sell your practice, your primary residence or your vacation home? Can you afford the care your aging parents will require? Recognize that you’re operating in the realm of speculation and potential; none of these fear triggers exists in the present moment. Yet our fixation with what might happen often impacts us the most because it’s so amorphous and there is often not much we can do about it

Now write these fears down in the left column. Ask yourself if you need to deal with each one right now. If yes, then in the right column, identify practical steps you can take today to address the concern. If there is nothing you can do to resolve the fear, then perhaps you need to consider accepting and perhaps even surrendering to the reality.

As an old prayer says, “Lord, give me the strength to change those things that can be changed, the patience to withstand those that cannot be changed, and the wisdom to tell the difference.” I have derived strength and feelings of calmness from this saying over the years.

Opportunities For Growth And Hidden Opportunities Abound

Sometimes life deals us difficult cards and there is very little, if anything, we can do to change the situation. As a teenager, sports was my passion. During a college intramural basketball game, I suddenly found myself on the court struggling to breathe. In the hospital, I learned that I had a serious heart valve problem and that my competitive sports days were over. This was devastating for me. I was 20 years old, in awesome shape, and a good kid. How could this happen to me?

In the months and years ahead, this challenge presented a new set of opportunities for me that I would never have seen but for my medical crisis. Instead of going right from college to law school, I took four years off and traveled the world, the highlight of which was two years in India studying yoga and meditation. I have continued to pursue yoga, meditation and personal growth for 26 years now and have been able to integrate what I have learned from it into my law practice, my Legal Sanity blog, and training and development programs. In so many ways, my heart valve problem has enriched my life and the lives of others.

My experience is not unique. Whenever I give my “Legal Sanity, Don’t Be A Victim of Your Own Career” program, I ask participants to identify the three most beneficial events that happened in their lives. Almost without fail, at least one of the events listed by each person—and sometimes as many as three—was hugely beneficial but very painful, such as an illness, loss of a loved one, a divorce, or loss of a job.

If you know that there is a silver lining in the grey clouds that you cannot remove from your life, approaching the challenge from a new vantage point could release your stress and give you new energy.

All of us who have faced major challenges have something in common: we can choose how we want to relate to the situation. By choosing to grow, to make the best of the situation, we are much more likely to create a new reality for ourselves and our loved ones that may ultimately be much more rewarding and fulfilling than what we had before.

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There is a reason these adages have lasted for generations. Your reputation is vitally important to your career and personal success. How you interact with people now may come back to delight or haunt you someday.

It’s a fact: Your first position often leads to the next great job—on the word of a connected superior, a client or colleague. Even if you plan to leave a firm in two years, you should show up and work as if you’re staying forever. Here are four reputation builders.

Practice Impeccable Speech

I’m not talking about your accent or pronunciation. What I mean is avoiding the urge to gossip, speak badly about a colleague or superior, or vent about a project.

If you must, do it after work with friends who don’t work with you. Designate five minutes of work venting time with your significant other and then drop it. Getting emotional or dishing dirt can give people the impression that either you aren’t ready for additional responsibility or you lack integrity.

Dress Impeccably

Even if some law firms have relaxed the dress code in recent years, you should dress for the position you want. That old advice still holds true: how you look and carry yourself all make a statement before you say a word. To convey a sense of neatness and style, women will want to think about their hair, clothing, jewelry and makeup. If you need to wear a skirt and hosiery, it’s a small price to pay for moving on and up in your career. Men, rethink your hairstyle and facial hair. If your firm still pays homage to the bow tie, get on the wagon. When you dress professionally, you will also feel and act the part.

Demonstrate Impeccable Self-Control

Social situations are a great opportunity to show your softer or humorous side. People have a chance to get to know you better and see that there is more to you than the worker bee.

Just remember that the company party or a client function is not the place to demonstrate your capacity for alcohol or your interest in food over people. Even if the party takes place after business hours, think about the impression you want to make that day and the day after.

Be An Impeccable Representative

You are an ambassador of your firm whether you are on the clock or not. Talk about your firm in a way that makes people excited about it . . . or envious that they don’t work there, too.

One negative comment carries more weight than 10 positive ones. You never know when a few good words about your firm or your job can lead to new business. One of my colleagues recently struck up a conversation with a man at a high school football game who turned out to be an attorney. Her impeccable representation of our firm has led to a business card exchange and a prospect lunch.

Support your future career with the job you have now. You never know when you’ll meet the next client or your next boss.

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Appreciate a job loss? That seems strange given rising unemployment figures around the country and rising costs for basic needs. But this unexpected life transition can lead you to a more fulfilling opportunity if you understand the pros and cons of your previous position, what you really need and what you can offer to be successful in the next one.

Get In Touch

Take advantage of your social networks as soon as possible to find out who is hiring now or in the near future. Interview your friends and colleagues as if for a position at their firm: Ask about salary, benefits and the culture. Do your friends seem genuinely happy in the firms where they work? What do they like best about it? What would they change? What is their impression of the leadership and the career advancement opportunities? Would they want to work there for five years or more?

Also talk to people whom you trust who used to work within certain law firms or were affiliated with them in some way. They may offer insider information that recruiters or people currently in the firm won’t share or are too biased to share. Even if you are not looking for another job, keep tabs on what’s happening at other law firms and continue to develop your network.

Address Your Value

Before setting up any informational interviews or sending out 50 résumés, take stock of what happened in your last position. Think about the good parts and the not-so-great parts. What did you love about it and what did you find frustrating? Make a list of the skills and knowledge you gained and how you could apply that to your next position. Be honest about your areas of weakness and how you could improve. Think about the qualities you would like in a manager and what you expect from partners.

Research Your Options

Begin scheduling informational interviews with several law firms as well as submitting your résumé to firms that interest you. When you arrive at a firm, notice the surroundings and whether the receptionist and people you see greet you warmly. Ask to speak to other associates, a manager and a younger partner to get a general impression of the firm. If your primary firm contact does not agree to this, ask why: it may be a red flag. If you need to schedule interviews for a later time, do so.

Ask Good Questions

Remember during the interview, you are interviewing the firm as much as the firm leaders are interviewing you; your goal is to find the right position that addresses the issues that didn’t work at your previous position. Ask questions that give you a good sense of what people value at this firm, and how they mentor and develop their talent. Keep these questions in mind:

“Does each attorney have a book of business or are they the firm’s clients?” (This question focuses on expectations for business development and support.)

“Tell me about a successful mentorship and a bad mentorship. What went well and what didn’t?” (This question voices concern about developing young talent.)

“How do you prefer that I communicate with you—by phone or email?” (If the other person says that it depends on the person, this tells you that he or she actually thinks about communication style.)

“What’s your favorite part of the day?” (This focuses on client interaction, and whether attorneys at the firm spend time with colleagues or go home.)

After each interview, give it a “gut feeling” score from 1 to 5, 5 representing a place you would feel comfortable working and 1 being a place to avoid.

Even if your financial situation doesn’t allow you the leisure to select the “perfect” firm, using these strategic and thoughtful tips when you approach your next career opportunity will get you closer to the right fit—so you can add true value in law and gain it in return.

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With a growing population of lawyers in their 50s and 60s who are looking toward retirement, firms across the country are figuring out how to retain clients and maintain profitability through a major leadership transition. Some of their strategies have included
opening branch offices in the U.S. and other countries, diversifying practice areas and hiring less expensive paralegals to do the work that was previously done by associates.

Partnership tracks have lengthened and there is no longer a guarantee that you will be offered a partnership. Whether or not you want a partnership, you should know how to get noticed and be the beneficiary of a partner’s mentorship and book of business.

Make Connections

Go-To Associates understand the importance of relationships inside and outside the firm. By observing the dynamics of the firm, they understand who has power. It is often just as important to relate well to the managing partner’s legal assistant as it is to your practice manager. Continue to talk to your peers in the legal field and referral fields such as accounting and finance. This is important for your career as well as future business development as your peers gain influence.

Ask For Opportunities

Some associates are comfortable taking orders; others assume they won’t get an opportunity until a partner leaves or retires. Waiting around for rain isn’t a good idea in any career. Ask to sit in on client meetings. Come up with a list of blog ideas geared toward young associates and recruitment and suggest them to the bloggers in your firm. Offer to set up or update a partner’s Facebook profile. Ask partners for work beyond your caseload or professional development plan. If you are open to it, ask about opportunities in branch offices. Sincere requests communicate motivation and initiative to firm leaders.

Be Visible, Not Overworked

You can demonstrate initiative without working 80 hours a week. Volunteer for firm committees and events or play on the softball team. Respond to emails in the evening or on weekends, which can subtly communicate a strong work ethic and time management. You can write for firm publications and pass on articles of interest to your team. Ask colleagues or your practice manager to lunch to build rapport. Actively participate in young professionals groups and industry associations.

Yes, these ideas are primarily non-billable. But they are common- sense professional development strategies that are easy to overlook when you are busy taking orders. Firm leaders are thinking about their exit strategy constantly; their thoughts will fall to the associates who are top of mind. If you were them, who would be your Go-To Associate in the firm? Be that person.

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Your goal is to preserve your relationship with the employer you’re leaving while still vigorously protecting your rights.

You’re Leaving Because You Want To Leave

In many ways, departing a firm voluntarily is more difficult than getting fired. Sure, you don’t experience the same powerlessness and embarrassment as when you’re told to leave. On the other hand, you still need to deal with colleagues who may feel betrayed by your departure, or who view your motives with suspicion, believing you want to steal clients or bring down the firm. Here are some do’s and don’ts about disengaging

Be prepared: It doesn’t hurt to brace yourself for a worst-case scenario in which your firm sends you packing the day you give notice. In this situation, the firm would close ranks and deny you access to your computer and files by deactivating your security codes and password. Of course, this means you would lose the ability to save what’s rightfully yours. To avoid this, before you give notice, save copies of all of your work product, e-mail messages, and any client materials you’re entitled to retain; and start bringing home the seminar materials, bar journals, and other publications that belong to you. Do this whether you expect your firm to react negatively or not.

Be considerate: Give your firm the traditional two weeks’ notice—if not more. Try to avoid giving notice in the weeks before a major trial or closing. Finally, assure your firm that you will continue to work long enough to finish outstanding work, or to brief a new attorney on the matter. Of course, your firm might decline your offer; in fact, they might ask you to leave right away. But at least you can be satisfied that you acted professionally.

You Are Asked To Leave

In these tough economic times, many law firms are downsizing, firing first-rate lawyers who in many cases have never before dealt with rejection. And let’s be honest—sometimes law firms act downright unlawfully, squeezing out female lawyers who’ve returned from maternity leave or forcing out older, better paid lawyers. If you believe that you’ve been a victim of unlawful conduct, consult with an employment lawyer. Bringing a lawsuit can negatively impact your career, but at the same time, our profession won’t improve unless those who were wronged step up.

If you were fired unfairly but not unlawfully, you may want to vent about your plight either internally or even go public on a blog site. Before you do, however, consider this:

Badmouthing your former firm can burn bridges, or even cause the firm to disseminate negative information about your performance. If there are skeletons in your closet such as client complaints or poor reviews, you might do well to keep quiet. Likewise, if you believe that others at the firm are sympathetic to your situation and might pass work your way or help you find a job, consider whether badmouthing your firm is worth it.

If you send an email to partners or others giving them a piece of your mind, assume that it will eventually wind up on the Internet. That’s what recently happened to Shiuyung Oh, a former Paul Hastings associate. Her firm downsized her, and then claimed it fired her due to subpar performance. Her email to others in the firm in which she explained her situation ultimately wound up on AbovetheLaw, a popular legal gossip website leaving Oh no choice but to go public with her complaint.

You don’t need to leave the firm with your tail between your legs. Express your disappointment or anger to lawyers with whom you worked but do it in a professional manner. This leaves the door open to repair or rebuild the relationship down the road.

Negotiate Benefits

When you leave your employer, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, you may be entitled to certain benefits such as compensation for vacation time or the right to purchase health insurance through COBRA. If you’ve been fired or you’re planning on starting a firm, negotiate vigorously for what you deserve; every little extra bit of cash can help alleviate the financial stress of the early days of starting your own practice.

Here are some benefits for which you should actively negotiate:

Vacation/sick days. Many attorneys who leave a firm or the government find themselves with three or four weeks of unused vacation.

Retirement contribution and bonuses. In contrast to vacation benefits, which accrue all year long, some benefits—like retirement contributions or bonuses—are distributed annually, usually in January or February for the previous year. If you’re leaving voluntarily, you may be able to time your departure so that you’re around when these benefits are dispensed. However, if you’re asked to leave late in the year, you may miss out on these benefits unless you speak up. Again, consult your employee handbook and HR manual. If you’ve already met the criterion for a pension contribution or bonus, then make your case for receiving it.

COBRA. Federal law requires employers with 20 or more employees to provide employees and their dependents the right to continue health insurance coverage up to 18 months after leaving a job. Even though COBRA requires you to reimburse your employer for its share of your insurance premiums, COBRA coverage is generally lower than what you could procure on your own since you can take advantage of your employer’s group rates. COBRA imposes strict deadlines for electing coverage so it’s up to you to stay on top of the process to avoid missing a deadline.

Unemployment. If your separation is involuntary, you probably qualify for unemployment benefits. Don’t be too ashamed or proud to take unemployment; after all, you’ve been paying into the system for as long as you’ve been working, so you might as well take what you’ve earned. After what you’ve been earning at your firm, unemployment doesn’t amount to much, maybe $300 to $400 per week for three months. But that may be enough to cover some bills while you decide what to do next.

Finally, even when you’ve been terminated from your position, you have some leverage in negotiating benefits. If your firm fears you might bring a lawsuit, it may try to avoid the possibility by placating you. Or one or more of the partners may feel so guilty about your dismissal that they will try to ease their conscience by giving you what you ask for. For example, if you’re forced out in the last quarter of the year, maybe the firm will pick up the tab for health insurance premiums through the end of the year. This would be especially helpful if you intend to switch over to your spouse’s plan, for example, and you’re not sure how long that process will take.

Divide The Assets

Departing lawyers must also determine what property they can rightfully take and what belongs to the firm. Disputes frequently arise at termination over rights—how to divide clients, and how to assess ownership of other assets.

Clients

As much as firms may want to keep clients, ethics rules impose some limitations that can level the playing field, at least a little.

In contrast to private corporations, law firms can’t execute non-compete agreements to prohibit former attorneys from soliciting existing clients. The ABA Model Rules of Professional Responsibility and every state bar take the position that clients have an unfettered right to choose their attorney.

And any practice which restricts a client’s ability to choose—whether it’s a non-compete agreement, a law firm’s ban on communications between a former attorney and firm clients, or a firm’s refusal to turn over client files so that a client can transfer to another attorney—will not pass muster under ethics rules.

Still, law firms have some wiggle room. Ethics rules don’t stop a firm from offering an existing client all kinds of perks to remain with the firm. In fact, ABA Opinion 06-444 held that a firm can ethically make retirement benefits contingent upon a lawyer’s agreement to sign a non-compete clause (ABA Journal e-Report, May 25, 2007).

In addition, the ethics rules impose limitations on departing lawyers. Both the ABA rules and most state ethics codes generally have rules on contact between a departing lawyer and firm clients. In many cases, ethics rules require joint notice to the client by both the firm and the departing lawyer. Follow these rules when you leave a firm to avoid protracted litigation over clients.

Property

While figuring out the division of clients, departing lawyers must also determine what property they can rightfully take, and what belongs to the firm. In some instances, technological advancements have rendered moot the work-product question. Most federal courts, and many state courts and administrative agencies, have transitioned to electronic filing. Consequently, you don’t need to concern yourself with the ethics of copying your firm’s briefs and motions when you can readily access many of them online at the court’s web sites after you leave.

Client files belong to the clients, so you can’t take them. But you can—and should—take copies of files if only to document your involvement in a matter if there’s a subsequent malpractice action or grievance filed down the road.

Intellectual property issues complicate the question of who owns work product. Though intellectual property considerations do not necessarily bar you from taking presentations, forms and software applications that you created for your firm for your own fair use, they may preclude you from licensing or otherwise profiting from those materials.

These days, departing lawyers may also face a fight over blog ownership. If you started the firm’s blog on your own server, you can likely claim ownership to the blog and take it with you when you leave even if your blog’s visibility eventually generated clients for the firm. By contrast, if the firm funds the blog and you simply contributed posts (possibly even without attribution), the firm would retain ownership—though nothing would prevent you from linking to your posts after you leave.

Last impressions matter as much as first ones. Whether you’re moving on to better pastures or you’ve been forced out, take care to leave your job with your most important asset intact: your reputation.

*Portions of this article are excerpted from Solo by Choice: How to Be the Lawyer You Always Wanted to Be by Carolyn Elefant.

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At the same time, the very nature of work has changed. There is little job stability or security in the workplace. Pensions and gold watches are relics. People entering the workforce expect to change jobs just about every two years. Transition is now the norm.

The legal profession is experiencing the effects of these dual cultural forces. Lawyer dissatisfaction and attrition is rampant. Recent data shows that 37% of associates leave large firms within the first three years and a sizeable 77% depart within five years.

While firms focus on launching initiatives to foster employee engagement, lawyers are busy rethinking and refining their career expectations and goals. Fewer are looking at the partnership track as a viable or attractive option. They are not in it for the long haul and are charting their career paths accordingly.

One of the most overlooked keys to navigating your legal career in this new marketplace is to have a well-crafted exit strategy.

Design An Exit Strategy Early In Your Career

The term “exit strategy” is commonly defined as the method that a venture capitalist or business owner intends to use to get out of an investment that he or she has made. As a lawyer, you have invested an enormous amount of time and money in your education and work. To optimize this investment, you need to know when and how to leave a job for another opportunity.

Many people wait to devise exit strategies until they have an urge or need to change jobs or careers. This is a mistake. Think of your exit strategy as an ongoing process that starts before you even take your first job. It is the process of knowing yourself and actively managing your own career.

Communicating this idea in “The Brand Called You” (Fast Company, August 1997, Issue 10), management consultant Tom Peters noted:
“It’s time for me—and you—to take a lesson from the big brands, a lesson that’s true for anyone who’s interested in what it takes to stand out and prosper in the new world of work. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me, Inc. To be in business today, our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called You.”

Branding Is About Self-Awareness

For lawyers, the personal branding Peters refers to derives from self-awareness. You need to ask and answer questions like:

• What work and job responsibilities do I find meaningful and enjoyable?
• Who do I like to work with and for?
• What type of office environment energizes me? What type depletes me?
• Do I like to work alone or do I thrive as part of a group?
• Do I have the personality to be an entrepreneur and run a solo practice?
• Do I need feedback and, if so, how much do I need to feel visible and valued on the job?
• Do I enjoy putting in long hours or do I prefer shorter days or flextime options?
• Does money bring meaning to my work or do I find meaning in the nature of the assignment, client interaction, results obtained or some other marker?

This personalized approach to career management is also about identifying and owning what you bring to the table and what sets you apart from the pack. Business relationship expert Keith Ferrazzi refers to these differentiators as currencies. Your currency is your capacity to help others fulfill their mission or vision of themselves in some way. Most people have multiple currencies. Some are naturally stronger and appeal to us more than others.

Determine Your Own Currency

To discover your currencies, Ferrazzi suggests that you consider these questions:

• What about you or your interests engage the people you interact with?
• When and how have you helped others succeed?
• What aspect of helping others makes you feel fulfilled?
• How can you integrate your currencies into your career plans?

Once you have completed this self-inventory, you can start managing your career.

A focal point of your management efforts should be your professional relationships. Consider all the connections you have nurtured and can draw on: law school professors, summer associate mentors, law firm bosses and co-workers.

Find ways to meet with people who can relate to your proactive approach and give you insight into industries, firms or positions that interest you. You might also choose to participate in professional networking groups or associations. Cast a wide net and do not be afraid to ask for leads.

Should you burn out and become upset with your work, remember that it is best not to burn bridges. A much-referenced career management tip is to be gracious as you transition from one job to another. The people who you are leaving behind remain an integral part of your business network. Remember to always leave the door open—at least a crack.

Another component of managing your career is to realize that your present job likely offers you a host of opportunities to build business skills and experience. By exploring these avenues, you get to know your professional self and can identify practice areas you like.

When I was an associate at Weil Gotshal & Manges, a large New York firm, I worked on sports antitrust matters. I enjoyed my assignments and found them challenging and rewarding. But what really captured my passion for the law and spurred my decision to partner in a small Wall Street practice just four years out of law school was the enjoyment—actually, the thrill—of working on a pro bono political asylum case, which offered me autonomy and direct contact with clients who truly appreciated me and my work.

To this day, I look back on my decision to take on that pro bono matter as the pivotal moment in my career: I took the reins and started consciously guiding my life in the law.

Along with larger cultural shifts, transition is now a part of almost every legal career. Change can be daunting, but also promising. If you recognize that actively managing your career is the ultimate exit strategy, you will be well positioned to find jobs that bring meaning, purpose and success to your life.
____________
RESOURCES

“The Brand Called You”

Article in FastCompany magazine by Tom Peters, August,1997.
Big companies understand the importance of brands. Today, in the Age of the Individual, you have to be your own brand. Here’s what it takes to be the CEO of Me Inc.

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While communicating online might be as natural to you as texting on your cell phone, it’s easy to develop a false sense of security in the vast reaches of cyberspace. Blogs are informal means of communication compared to articles or white papers, but anything you say in a blog may still be held against you in a court of law or a job interview.

Frequent bloggers have developed some “do’s and don’ts” that reflect what type of blogging is appreciated and what is annoying. One of the primary rules of blogging is to spread the love. Blogging has always been about building community and sharing knowledge, so there is a proper way to participate if you want to enhance rather than hurt your career.

Join The Conversation But Be Considerate

We encourage our clients to comment on industry-related blogs. If they find a post that they like or one with which they disagree, posting a comment is welcome if it adds to the base of knowledge or perspective. Don’t just say, “I agree.” A helpful or insightful comment can build name recognition and positive exposure for you and your firm.

Include your name with comments at the very least, then your firm email address and website if allowed by the firm. This encourages feedback from other legal professionals or referral sources. The more thoughtful and frequent your comments, the faster you can build an online power base of industry colleagues. Don’t forget the blogs of referral sources such as financial advisors and accountants.

Like bios, blogs can tell you valuable information about people before you meet them.

Phrase your comments so their tone matches that of the blog. If the blog has a fairly serious tone, keep your comments to the point. If the tone has playful or humorous tone, play along. Although some say that blogs don’t have to adhere to every grammatical rule, we recommend avoiding slang, bad language and typos unless it’s clear that you mean to be informal.

Relevance Matters And Spam Slams

There is a difference between mentioning your firm and spreading spam. First of all, any mention of your firm or services should be relevant to the post or other comments. The same is true for posting links. Make sure it fits the audience. You wouldn’t post a comment about your law firm on a blog about easy-to-prepare desserts any more than you would want comments about Jell-O on your blog.

Look for topics among the posts that fit your experience or practice area so you can provide a natural response just as you would to an email. Bloggers who know their etiquette will usually respond to you with a thank you or a request for more information.

It is also acceptable to refer to your firm’s blog if the information is relevant to the audience. In fact, add value to your own blog research by recommending sites that your firm blog should check out or flag as favorites. Better yet, offer to write a post for the firm blog; you can provide a list about other blogs that are great for associates or various practice areas. You could write about the benefits of legal blogs for trends and networking opportunities. Even if the blog is written by one attorney in your firm, it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Plus, from a marketing perspective, your blog should offer insights from a variety of people at different levels of your firm. This makes it more interesting and dynamic. It’s also easier to maintain regular posts; fresh content supports search engine rankings.

Create A Workable Blog Strategy

Although you can spend hours on blogs, it’s advisable to set aside just 10-15 minutes every couple days for non-billable blog networking. Check back and see how others have commented on a post or responded to your comments.

If you come across an interesting post or comment, pass it around to your boss or colleagues for their enjoyment or follow-up. At the very least, the post could result in an interesting discussion. Or it could lead to a strategic connection for firm training, marketing or new business down the road.

One final note: keep track of the bloggers you admire and the commentators who add value to the discussion. Like any networking opportunity, blogs can connect you to future opportunities that you can’t imagine right now. Be impeccable in the blogosphere to enhance your sphere of influence.

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Unfortunately, productive thoughts usually come bundled with others that make us fearful, anxious and stressed: Can I cover my overhead and mortgage this month? My adversary is such a jerk. What do I do now that the computer is down? This isn’t why I went to law school!

Given the well-documented mind-body connection, all the unproductive thoughts you entertain inevitably take a physical toll, weakening your immune system, raising your blood pressure and encouraging insomnia. Under their influence you feel burnt out; your work and personal lives suffer.

Meditation Controls The Mind’s Inventory

Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could control your mind’s inventory by cultivating useful and uplifting thoughts and disarming the useless and harmful ones? What a competitive edge you’d have! What a boon to be free of the physical fallout negative thoughts engender!

This is not a fanciful notion. You can change your mind right now by retraining it. Like any new skill, it simply takes understanding and practice. And the foundational practice is meditation.

Meditation rests on the premise that the mind works best when it’s quiet and poised. During meditation, when the flow of thought slows to a trickle, any ideas, questions and understandings that do arise are often inspired and profound.

As a regular practice, meditation helps us tune out the stream of information that inundates us at work and at home. It also allows us to access calmness and clarity and to de-stress from the rigors of everyday life.

Imagine you’re listening to Beethoven on your car radio when, all of sudden, you’re flanked by SUVs blaring hard rock and rap. The dissonance is intense. You can’t hear the nuances and sweetness of your music. That’s just how it is with the mind. It serves us optimally when unencumbered by dissonant thoughts. Meditation helps you turn down the mind’s noise and tune in to a place of calm and clarity.

There’s No Wrong Way To Meditate

The beauty of meditation is its accessibility. Anyone can meditate. You don’t need to renounce your worldly ways or even dramatically change your daily routine to reap the many physical and mental benefits of meditation. Best of all, you simply can’t do it wrong.

And that’s the real key to a healthy meditation practice—giving ourselves permission to suspend judgment and accept each meditation session for what it brings. This can be difficult for those of us used to critiquing and labeling for a living. But it’s essential for beginner and advanced meditators alike.

You also don’t need any special tools or gadgets in order to meditate. In fact, you get all the assistance that you need from something you already possess—your breath.

Medical science has come to recognize and promote the breath’s ability to calm and sooth us. In meditation, you become aware of your breath and gradually slow and deepen it. In the process, you trigger a chain of biological reactions that raise the level of carbon dioxide in the bloodstream and counter the buildup of oxygen that can cause irritability, confusion, anxiety and lightheadedness.

Although there’s no black-letter rule, most people meditate for 10 to 30 minutes at a time when getting started. However, the number of minutes is not as important as the number of times you meditate each week. The more you meditate, the faster the practice will bear fruit for you.

Create A Meditation Practice

My advice is to start out by meditating 5 to 10 minutes a day using the following directions.

Find a quiet place and time where you will not be interrupted. (It’s great to establish a regular meditation site and time in your home or office.)

Shut the door, silence the phone and tell your work or housemates that you’re taking some quiet time. Sit in a chair with your feet on the floor. Rest your hands on your knees, palms up or down, or fold your hands in your lap.

Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths. Returning to a natural, rhythmic breathing, start to focus on your in-breath and out-breath. Observe the qualities of your breath as it flows in and out.

If your mind chatters or wanders, which it will, gently return your focus to your breathing.

Slowly bring your awareness back to your body and take in the sounds around you.

Move your fingertips and toes, stretch a bit and open your eyes.

What do you notice?

It’s good to have a journal or small notebook to jot down your observations. By noting the positive effects of your meditation session, you’ll be more inspired to try it again and commit to a consistent practice. By noting the challenges (I couldn’t stop thinking; I came away exhausted; I couldn’t sit still), you’ll get to know yourself better as a meditator and give yourself permission to approach the process gradually and with lightness of heart. You might also gain insight into life issues that you need to face and work through.

At one point in my regular meditation practice, I found myself endlessly thinking about a particular work dynamic that was troubling me. I couldn’t get it off my mind. After a week or so of the same preoccupation, it became clear that I needed to address the situation directly. I did and, afterwards, was able to experience a quiet mind in meditation.

For me, and many others, one surprising side effect of meditation is creativity. As a lawyer, I was always proud of my logical mind and didn’t focus on, or take much stock in, being creative. But during a month-long stretch a few years ago, I felt tremendous poetic inspiration while meditating. In the ensuing months, I wrote poetry in my journal and then created a hundred-page book of poems. I couldn’t believe that it came out of me.

As lawyers, we’re usually so busy and have so much competing for our attention that we barely even notice what we’re really feeling and thinking. Author Timothy D. Wilson expresses this dilemma in a great book I read a few years ago, Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious. Through meditation and the process of debriefing our meditations, we gain essential tools for getting to know and love ourselves.

Please let me know if you found this article helpful, and email me any of your observations. I’d love to use the dialog that emerges in a future article (don’t worry, I’ll change the names to protect the innocent).

Congratulations for committing to get to know yourself through meditation.

____________
RESOURCES

Wilson, Timothy D., Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious, Belknap Press, 2004.

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For those who pursue law as a profession, this popular perception gains momentum as you’re rewarded with top journal positions, coveted clerkships and high-paying jobs for outstanding performance in law school.

Once you start practicing, however, you quickly learn that the popular notion of “the successful lawyer” that you’ve come to embrace isn’t in sync with the reality of what it takes to survive and thrive in that role.

As I noted in the introductory article in this series on Critical Relationship Building Skills for Associates, while intelligence and sharp reasoning are baseline requirements, success in the law turns on the ability to cultivate healthy and lasting business relationships with:

• Prospects
• Clients
• Partners
• Team members
• Opposing counsel

Learn The Three Core Principles About Relationships

Despite the obvious importance of these business connections, most young lawyers concede that they don’t know how to create or maintain them. Fortunately, business relationship skills can be learned and sharpened over time by focusing on three core principles:

• Relationships are essential
• Relationships must be mutually energizing
• Relationships must accommodate feelings and meet needs

These three principles and their corresponding action points—or energized perspectives—anchor the signature learning system I devised to help young associates and law students bridge the skills gap between the backpack and the briefcase. What follows is an in-depth look at the first principle of the trio: Relationships are Essential.

Business Relationships Are Personal

Many people have a well-defined comfort zone when it comes to the subject of relationships. They have no problem admitting that we humans are inherently social creatures who need relationships to flourish in our personal lives. At the same time, they balk at the idea that relationships are essential to our business success.

Lawyers are particularly susceptible to this black-and-white thinking. They know that their professional future hinges on building a book of business, but they don’t see how relationships fit into their success strategy.

Their misperception is understandable. As author and consultant David Maister frames it, trained to reduce human issues to facts, laws, rules, rights and responsibilities, many lawyers tend to view the business interactions that sustain them as transactions rather than relationships.

But the truth is that most of our essential business interactions aren’t cold and empty transactions. They’re relationships with human beings who have fears, hopes, needs and challenges. Viewed in this way, our business relationships aren’t the dull and dry second-cousins of our personal relationships. Our business relationships are personal.

Practicing Law Is Based On Connecting With Others

This point is well made by Keith Ferrazzi, business consultant and best-selling author of Never Eat Alone. According to Ferrazzi, some common denominators of successful personal and business relationships include:

• Sincerity
• Generosity
• Emotionality
• Vulnerability
• Intimacy

As in our personal encounters, we can make real and valuable business connections when we “come as we are,” open up and share our passions, ideas, concerns and vulnerabilities with others. The connecting points forged through this kind of intimacy are the sturdiest building blocks of present and future business associations.

Reflect On Your Relationships To Improve Them
Having examined how and why relationships are essential to your business success, it’s important to start engaging the principle on a personal level to see how it plays out in your professional life.

You can do this by considering the following action point—or energized perspective—that corresponds to and refines the core principle that relationships are essential:

I know who is essential to my success and why. I put my energy into those important relationships. I arrange my priorities and goals accordingly.

Here’s a multi-part exercise to help you assess your relationships from this perspective. You’ll need to set aside some quiet time for reflection and writing. Please understand that this work takes some work. But if you give yourself fully to the process, you’ll quickly reap its benefits.

1. Identify a business relationship that has benefited you.

2. Identify a personal relationship that has benefited you.

• What are the qualities of each relationship?
• How do the qualities of the personal relationship match those of the business relationship?

3. How many people can you identify who currently support your success?

• List them.
• How often do you interact with them?
• Would you benefit from having more time with anyone on this list?
• What can you do to schedule more time with these people?

4. Identify up to three people who detract from your success.

• What are the qualities of these relationships?
• What can you do to either improve the dynamic or avoid it?

5. Now, take action. Contact one or more of your success supporters and invite them to dine or attend an event with you. In preparation for this one-on-one time, ask yourself:

• What would make my time with these supportive people more valuable?
• What strategies can I come up with to avoid small talk and make the best use of our time together?

Nurturing Relationships Is Good Business Practice

Earlier this year, the ABA Journal asked me to participate in its pilot lawyer coaching program. I was assigned to work with two lawyers. One had achieved a level of success in the public sector but felt that her career was stagnating.
In doing the above multi-part exercise, she quickly realized that her boss was undermining her success. Not only did he not respect her, but he was unfocussed, which drove her crazy. But her boss’s boss respected her, valued her work and was sharp and responsive.

Sensitive to the office politics, she didn’t want to undermine her boss. But she realized that if she didn’t take a proactive step, she would end up burning out and leaving her job.

She spoke to her boss about how his behavior undermined her success. He listened and promised to change, but he didn’t. She then told him that she was going to speak to his boss and ask for a transfer to another department. It was clear that they were not the right fit for each other. She ended up getting transferred and started working for her boss’s boss in a much better situation for everyone.

This is one example of how you can align yourself with those who support your success and avoid those who undermine it.

My coaching experience has also taught me that many lawyers fail to see that their relationships with clients can continue and flourish after, or between, times of engagement. It’s vital to build on the good will of a successful representation by maintaining client contact. I have my coaching clients commit to reaching out to past clients on a regular basis. Typically they experience a very positive response that, over a period of 3-12 months, often results in new business or referrals.

By keeping these points in mind and engaging in the exercise described above, you’ll build a pool of healthy and enduring business relationships. You’ll also feel more appreciated, valued and energized in your work.
___________________
RESOURCES

Keith Ferrazzi
David Maister

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