Wendell has appeared before every level of court, from the local to the Supreme Court of the United States. He is articulate and effective. What the courts or his clients don’t know, however, is that outside of a courtroom, Wendell would rather eat bugs than make a presentation to more than two people.

Here’s an example: Wendell is chair of the board of the local Art Museum. He got the job because he raised a lot of money—over the phone, never in person—and donated quite a bit of money himself. The vice chair of the board runs the monthly board meetings while Wendell sits at the head of the table, looking wise and sweating like a hippo.

He has never been to a parent/teacher conference, and he is terrified little Tammy will invite him to “Career Day” to talk about diving bells.

Phobias Have Specific Characteristics

Wendell has a social phobia. The Merck Manual describes it this way (I’ll summarize):

“Social phobia (social anxiety disorder) is an excessive, unreasonable fear of and anxiety about being exposed to certain social or performance situations. It affects about 9% of women and 7% of men during any 12-month period. Men are more likely than women to have the most severe form of social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder.

Most people fear being embarrassed or humiliated if they fail to meet expectations. They’re concerned that they’ll sweat, blush or tremble, or that their voice will quaver and they won’t be able to express themselves to others (the condition doesn’t occur when people are alone). Many people especially fear public speaking, acting in a theatrical performance, playing a musical instrument, eating with others, signing their name before witnesses, or using public bathrooms.”1

That’s my friend Wendell, and it probably relates to some other people you know.

You Don’t Have To Live With Your Phobia

Wendell’s practice—and social life, for that matter—is being held hostage by his social phobia, and that, as you might suspect, isn’t great for business. So here’s the short answer for those of you who just can’t stand up in front of a crowd of any size: get help. (You probably thought I had some magic cure like rubbing the leaves of the bango tree on your elbows. Sorry.)

Phobias are serious business, especially when they are hurting yours. Having one doesn’t mean you’re crazy (we are all crazy,) it just means you have a little knock in the engine that needs adjusting.

Check with a friend for the name of a good psychologist or psychiatrist. (You’ll be amazed by how many of those friends know one.) If you come up dry, check with your local medical society or visit the website of the American Psychiatric Association or American Psychological Association. But whatever method you use, work with a professional and watch what a difference it makes.

Final thought: A lot of people aren’t aware of this, but there is also a phobia known as coulrophobia. It’s the abnormal fear of clowns. (I am not making this up.) The next time a major client bolts from the conference room with sweat streaming down their face, take a hard look at your partners. The source of the client’s discomfort may not be the shrimp cocktail they ate for lunch.

NOTES

1. The Merck Manuals Online Medical Library

Post from: The Complete Lawyer

No related posts.